


Fallout

by troublclef (ultraviolett)



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Dark Sides (Sanders Sides), Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Unsympathetic Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Unsympathetic Morality | Patton Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-12-17 05:14:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21048890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ultraviolett/pseuds/troublclef
Summary: Virgil was unwanted from the very beginning. Or, how Anxiety (and The Others) came to be.





	Fallout

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. This is a Sanders sides fic—the first one I’ve ever written so yeah. Don’t judge me too hard. The title is kind of a pun. Inspired by this wonderful patton/virgil theory: https://sanders-sides-theories-and-more.tumblr.com/post/187837213433/another-theory-you-know-how-some-people-theorize  
Crossposted on tumblr: https://trouble-clef.tumblr.com/post/188373312063

Shocking didn't even begin to describe the situation. Later, in his darker moments, Virgil would cite the sides'—one in particular—reactions to this very moment as what led him to stay so isolated, so alone. To believe that they didn't want him around and never did. 

* * *

"This is not right! We can't say that to Thomas's friends! That would be wrong!" Patton exclaimed, desperate for everyone to see his perspective. "Come on, Patton. It's really not a big deal. Thomas doesn't want to go to the birthday party. Sure, his parents will understand if he says he just doesn't want to go, but his friends?" 

Deceit sighed, exasperated. "It's a little white lie. He has a family thing. No one will question that, and there's no further explanation required." 

"But what if they do? Someone might ask, and then what? Thomas makes up more lies?" Patton was starting to look a little pale, suddenly, odd shadows growing under his eyes. "I... agree with Deceit, here, Patton." Roman spoke up. "It genuinely can't be that bad...right?" Remus, from just next to him, chimed in.

"Think of it this way. It's not lying, just... creative truth-telling. And creativity is my specialty." 

"_Our _specialty." Princey elbowed the Duke in the ribs, reminding him. "Hey, Specs, what do you think?" They asked in unison. At times, they still seemed to be one whole, rather than two parts. Logan adjusted his glasses, glaring at the creative side. "My name is Logan. You_ both _know that." He cleared his throat. "Back to the matter at hand. Let's examine the positives and negatives of both scenarios. If Thomas goes to the birthday party, he'll please his friends. They will be happy to see him; they already expect him to be there, so that expectation will be fulfilled. However, Thomas himself will not enjoy the party, and may even spend the time thinking about how much he'd rather be home, instead of contributing to the joy of the party as is expected of a guest. That's two positives and one negative."

"And...what about not going to the party? And lying to his friends?" Patton emphasized, still looking rather pale.

"If Thomas doesn't attend the party, his friends will be disappointed. However, Thomas will be in much better spirits having not been forced to attend something he wouldn't enjoy. Additionally, he will see his all of friends quite soon after--at school the next Monday and can contribute his birthday gift to his friend at a later date if necessary. It is also my experience that, with these large parties, one guest is not usually missed. That's two positives and one negative, again." Logan shrugged. For once, he wasn't exactly sure what to decide. He didn't have that much experience--he was only as old as Thomas's twelve years of age, after all.

Patton began pacing, back and forth in his place in front of the couch in the mindscape. He was looking worse by the moment. Paler, and darker under the eyes. Almost... scary. "Hey, Pat, are you...okay? You're looking kind of...strange." Roman furrowed his brow. "What? Yeah, fine. I just...what if they hate Thomas for this? They find out he's lied, they decide they can't trust him anymore, his friends abandon him--"

"Although I'm not certain, I am fairly confident that won't happen. Thomas' friends are better than that." Logan nodded, sure of himself.

"Yeah, even I wouldn't get that dark." Remus agreed, fiddling with the end of his mustache that was just beginning to grow.

"_Of course it will!_ Thomas will lie to his friends, then they'll figure it out and they’ll think he’s a bad friend and a horrible person, and then they'll abandon him! It'll spread! Thomas will become known as a liar, and then what?! No more friends, it just gets worse and worse and...!" Patton became more and more hysterical, starting to hyperventilate, pacing more erratically, then he just--stopped. Stood straight--ramrod straight. He was pale, sweating profusely, and looked quite nearly nothing like morality at all. "I think I'm gonna be sick." Patton doubled over, groaning. 

"Pat? Patton?!" Roman began to rush to Patton's side but stopped short when something strange happened. It looked like Patton was growing. Stretching, almost. "W-what's happening? Patton?" When Patton gave no answer, Roman turned to Logan, panicked. "You're logic, logically explain what's going on here!" Roman put a hand on his sword, unsure of what else to do. "I... can't. The only thing I can think of is that this looks similar to when you and Remus split."

Remus gleefully clapped his hands. "Oh, another one like me. Sounds like so much fun." 

"I don't think that's what's happening right now, everyone." Deceit pointed a gloved finger at Patton, still hunched over. "Look."

And as the sides turned to look, something fell out of Patton. There was no other way to describe it. A big, black mass fell straight from Patton's body as though he'd been possessed by it and it had just been exorcised. No one spoke for a moment. Then the mass began moving, taking shape. After a moment, a head popped out, then arms, then legs. Finally, it took the shape of a person—Thomas, of course—sitting cross-legged on the floor, wearing a grossly oversized black hoodie. It looked like Thomas, but nothing like any of them had ever seen.

Logan spoke first. "I believe it is another side—_he_ is another side." The apparently new side reached up, pulled back his hood and looked up for everyone to see. He was pale, rather gaunt, and had intense dark circles—no, wait, was that _eyeshadow?_—under his eyes. "Who are you?" Remus asked, looking genuinely shocked, but interest piqued. 

The side didn't immediately speak. He looked around, first, at the faces of the other sides. Most wore an expression between shock and confusion. The one with the nearly-there mustache looked excited. Then he looked to his left, at the side he'd just come out of, and that was worst. Fear. Terror. Disgust. It instantly made him feel bad for even existing. To have the audacity to cause this kind of feeling in another side? The worst thing he could do. And of course, it was his fault. Who else's would it be? “_What_ are you?” The side said—Patton, morality—his newfound consciousness supplied. _What are you?_ Not “who,” but “what.” It prompted him to answer. Maybe if he answered, Patton would stop looking at him like he was... bad. “Anxiety.” He whispered, looking down. Not his name, not yet (maybe not ever) but it was “what” he was. 

Patton resumed his composure; his color had returned to his skin and his eyes were just as bright as they'd been before this whole debacle began. "You have to go." 

"What?"

"You have to go. You're making Thomas feel bad, I know it. You were making me feel bad, too. You have to go, go away."

"But--"

"You have to go!"

Anxiety looked at the other sides. Roman and Logan stayed quiet, Logan not providing any counterarguments and Roman just looking at him like he hated his very newly-discovered existence. He had hurt Patton, after all, with his negativity. Even while not fully formed yet. "Patton, this is ridiculous. He just formed. He's a part of Thomas just like the rest of us." Deceit protested.

"Yeah! Plus, I like his eyeshadow." Remus supplied—probably unhelpfully—and gestured to his own painted eyelids.

"He came...he came out of you, Patton. He was _part of you._ You can't just _sss_end him away." Deceit didn't mean to hiss; it belied how bothered by this he really was. "It's not fair. He's a _sss_ide, too."

"If you two are so determined that he shouldn't be alone, you can go too."

"Now that's throwing the baby out with the bathwater. Literally. He's a baby side." Remus managed to be serious. This was serious business. He couldn't help the imagery, but he wasn't joking around.

"Excu_sss_e me?" Deceit was taken aback by this proposal.

"This is your fault anyway, Deceit. You're the one who prompted the idea of Thomas lying anyway. Having you around can't be good for him." Patton's tone was accusatory and full of resentment. "Okay, say that's true—which, remember, Logan and Roman agreed—Remus shouldn't have to leave, too. What has he done?" 

"Face it, he'd be the one to come up with some outrageous story that couldn't possibly be true as Thomas's excuse for not going to the birthday party. Think about where that would get him."

“He’s not wrong.” Remus shrugged. 

"_Ss_hut it, Remus." Deceit hissed, not wanting The Duke to further incriminate himself. "Logan? Roman? You can't possibly be going along with this?"

"I say any action that makes things easier for Thomas to function effectively within his social circles is a logically sound one. But then again, not having the input of all of the different facets of his personality seems like an unwise decision." Logan offered both sides of the argument, neutral as usual.

"In this instance, I think the good outweighs the bad.” Patton jumped in quickly. “Logan, in any one instance is it necessary to have all the sides present to make a decision?"

"No, but—"

"See, issue resolved." Patton was firm—this Anxiety wasn't staying, no matter how that was accomplished. "Remus, you can choose. Stay with Roman or go with Anxiety and Deceit. Of course, you'd be better off with them anyway, right? You already said you're on his side."

Deceit tried again. "Doesn't anyone want to ask Anxiety's opinion, here? Maybe he wants to stay."

"I...I think I should go." Anxiety felt worse causing all this trouble. If Patton never saw him again, if he was happier when he was gone, Anxiety would go. He would go.

"Remus! _Re! _You can't go, you can't leave me." Roman protested. He turned towards Patton, hands balled into fists at his sides. "Patton. Patton, you can't make him do this."

"I'm not making him do anything. He has to make a choice. And besides, Remus will be free to visit if he wants. You are connected, after all."

"Ro, it'll be okay. I just...gotta take care of the new side. Can't leave Snakey over there to do all the work. I'll be back soon. It won't be forever." (Later, after they'd been separated for so long, it would feel like it.) "You can't leave me. You're leaving me." Roman didn't like this. He couldn't believe Remus was choosing some—emo nightmare over him. His twin.

"Roman—"

"No, fine, go. Go if you want. I don't care." Roman turned away, crossed his arms. 

Remus sighed; he, Deceit, and Anxiety were resigned to their shared fate. Deceit crossed the room and held out his hand to the newest side, who took it. He looked at Remus as The Duke walked over to join him. Then, at the sides who'd betrayed them. The Others, who would walk into the darkness.

They sank out together.


End file.
